When you do not sit down and evaluate what your standards are when it comes to sex and your sexual ethics, it is very easy to be swayed into doing things that you do not believe in doing or that are unsafe for you as an individual. So know who you are and what you are comfortable with, otherwise you can find yourself in some tight situations. I hope that by writing my own sexual ethics it gives insight to help you and the next generations decide where they stand on these important matters. Firstly, I want to tell you what I think sex is. I would define sex as the penetration of a male’s penis into a woman’s vagina by heterosexual definition.
Sex is a big deal. It is the most appealing, common and acceptable sexual behavior among heterosexuals. My belief is that sex should be used in the context of marriage exclusively by a man and a woman. I also believe that in order to have sex with someone it requires full trust, communication, and the ultimate commitment, marriage because when you choose to have sex with someone you also choose to give them a part of yourself as well. If you have these factors in your sexual interactions with your significant other than you do not have to worry about the stress and unhappiness that comes along with relationship that do not have commitment.
Sex is enjoyable and a pleasurable experience and when you find that one person that you want to share yourself with it is one of the most emotionally, physically, and mentally connecting moments to your partner. I myself have never had sex but from my experience, I have seen too many friends think they are ready and find out that they are not. After the fact of sharing themselves with someone, a lot of them want to take that one moment back. But it can never be taken back. Disadvantages of being abstinent are that it requires a lot of restraint and self- discipline, clear communication with your significant ther and the risk of having unprotected sex if by chance the commitment you made with your significant other falls through. From my experience being abstintent is hard because you want to show your significant other some type of affection and let them know that you care but those things lead to others and you can find yourself struggling to remain abstinent as you promised. Advantages are that there is no cost, no risk of pregnancy, and protection from STIs. I hope that you as my child choose to take abstinence. It would give you a chance to live life without the complications of what sex has to offer.
My last sexual ethic is that oral sex (cunnilingus, fellatio) and anal sex (anilingus) are also forms of sex. A lot of people do not consider it to be so. Some couples use anal sex as a substitute for intercourse. Some couples who have made a decision to avoid intercourse either due to personal moral beliefs, not wanting to worry about getting pregnant, or the desire to wait until a later point in time for intercourse will decide to use oral/anal sex as a way of exploring sexual intimacy without actually having intercourse. But one thing that many people forget is that STIs are more easily spread through having sex in these methods.
When it comes to oral sex especially, people run into the problem of the transmission of almost all STIs, including HIV, hepatitis B, and human papilloma virus. One can also damage the rectal walls allowing contact of the inserting partner’s semen with the receiving partners bloodstream. So I hope if you are trying to find an alternative for sex if you are not going to have you think twice because all these things are sex and they can still give you STIs. I am very lucky to have parents that are open and talk about all types of issues.
Things that they were not afraid to talk about were about the issues of sex and much needed information I needed to know. I learned a lot of what I know about sexuality from them. I learned about dating and the importance of sex after marriage from them. They instilled the fact that I should wait for my soul mate and husband before I decided that I was going to engage in sexual intercourse. They also were open with the option of telling me that if I was to have sex before marriage I could use protection to keep me safe and they also discussed what kinds of protection there are.
What has been helpful in helping me decide what I wanted as my sexual ethics is that I was always able to openly ask my parents questions and if they did not know the answer to my question they would research for me or buy me a book on the subject so that we could talk and discuss the subject. It was kind of difficult to write this paper because if I could just have one sexual ethic to write about it would be abstinence because you do not have to worry about pregnancy or STIs if you are not engaging in things of the sexual nature. Even though staying abstinent is hard and very difficult I definitely stand by it one hundred percent.
I already knew where I stood when it came to my sexual ethics and what I believed you can and cannot do with an individual or significant other. But this paper gave me even more reason to believe what I believe because I got to see the pros and cons of everything and it further confirmed my decision to be the way I am. I do live by the principles I wrote for my children and I hope that they are not afraid to live by them in the future. I do not think my code will ever need revisions in the future because I am firm in what I believe in and I hope that my kids will believe in it too.